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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Measuring Up.

It is so easy to blog about the fun, happy moments of our lives but we all know that life isn't all fun and happy. Life is hard, and so I am challenging myself to write this post about a less glamorous truth of my life. This is honest. This is real.

If you know me, you know that I am organized & neat. I am a planner. I like helping others, but have a tendency to say 'yes' too often. I thrive off of schedule & structure. I pride myself on being efficient. I seek out technologies and products that make me feel more efficient. I am completely wired & gifted to plan events, to organize spaces, and to structure my schedule to achieve the highest level of productivity.

Since becoming a mom, I have many new responsibilities and have attempted to be very careful in not overburdening myself by saying 'yes' to every seemingly worthy opportunity to help that comes my way. I have attempted to continue to keep my family first.

Sounds good, right? But, here's the problem...I measure my worth by how many things I can accomplish in an hour, or in a day, or in a week. The truth is, I can never measure up to my standards. They are high and often incredibly unrealistic.

God has been teaching me so much about who I am over the last week. It has been a hard week. I have felt unproductive, unchallenged, incompetent, inadequate. It has taken me almost a week to realize that God brought me to this place. He walked me down this path knowing that eventually I would learn something that I needed to learn from Him.

The truths I have learned are that I will never be able to measure up to my standards. I am thankful for that because I have been reminded that God measures me by a non-worldly standard...A standard that is far more important than my standards about how many loads of laundry I can do in one day, how many papers I can grade while Owen naps, how many homemade meals I can cook each week.

I am thankful that the One who measures my life, measures me by my heart, my love, my intentions, & my passion for His causes. And no, I'll never live achieve perfection in these measures either but they're far more important and worthy of my effort than my measures.

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