It is so easy to blog about the fun, happy moments of our lives but we all know that life isn't all fun and happy. Life is hard, and so I am challenging myself to write this post about a less glamorous truth of my life. This is honest. This is real.
If you know me, you know that I am organized & neat. I am a planner. I like helping others, but have a tendency to say 'yes' too often. I thrive off of schedule & structure. I pride myself on being efficient. I seek out technologies and products that make me feel more efficient. I am completely wired & gifted to plan events, to organize spaces, and to structure my schedule to achieve the highest level of productivity.
Since becoming a mom, I have many new responsibilities and have attempted to be very careful in not overburdening myself by saying 'yes' to every seemingly worthy opportunity to help that comes my way. I have attempted to continue to keep my family first.
Sounds good, right? But, here's the problem...
I measure my worth by how many things I can accomplish in an hour, or in a day, or in a week. The truth is, I can never measure up to
my standards. They are high and often incredibly unrealistic.
God has been teaching me so much about who I am over the last week. It has been a hard week. I have felt unproductive, unchallenged, incompetent, inadequate. It has taken me almost a week to realize that God brought me to this place. He walked me down this path knowing that eventually I would learn something that I needed to learn from Him.
The truths I have learned are that I will never be able to measure up to
my standards. I am thankful for that because I have been reminded that God measures me by a non-worldly standard...A standard that is far more important than my standards about how many loads of laundry I can do in one day, how many papers I can grade while Owen naps, how many homemade meals I can cook each week.
I am thankful that the One who measures my life, measures me by my heart, my love, my intentions, & my passion for His causes. And no, I'll never live achieve perfection in these measures either but they're far more important and worthy of my effort than my measures.